Scene 6 -- A police station
with a barred cell at one side. A SERGEANT sits behind the desk. A MAGISTRATE
is also there. Arrested PERSONS lounge around, including a TRANSVESTITE.
Moby is brought in by the constable, followed by Marlow.
BOBBY
White male whale. Arrested for disturbing the peace,
inciting a riot, and indecent exposure.
TRANSVESTITE
I love it.
Marlow tries to speak, but the SERGEANT questions Moby and books him. They fin print him, then send him for a body search.
MOBY
Marlow! What are they going to do?
MARLOW
Moby, whatever happens, don't resist!
TRANSVESTITE
(To Moby) You'll love it. (To Marlow) He'll love it.
MOBY
But what will you search? I'm all right here. (He pivots)
TRANSVESTITE
Loverly!
They pull Moby behind a screen. We hear sounds of a struggle.
MOBY (OS)
(Shouting, as through a stuffed nose)
Get your fat finger out of there! (In delight) Oooooooooh!
TRANSVESTITE
I told you he'd like it.
The BOBBY staggers out from behind the screen, looking at his finger in disgust.
BOBBY
The horror! The horror!
Another OFFICER has found a dead carp under Moby’s fin and believes it was stolen.
SERGEANT
I'll add that to the list of offenses: Resisting an officer, unauthorized
bathing in city parks, telling whoppers, blubbering and carping.
MOBY
(Turning angrily toward the audience, which has laughed)
Hey, you there. What's so funny?
NO ONE EVER LAUGHED AT MOBY DICK (no music written)
NO ONE EVER LAUGHED AT MOBY DICK
THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE SEA HE COULDN'T LICK
HE WAS DIFFERENT, THEY ALL SAY
HE WAS WHITE, THE OTHERS GREY
YET NO ONE EVER LAUGHED AT MOBY DICK
NOBODY HAD BETTER LAUGH AT ME
I'M A WHALE AND I'M A WHITE ONE AS YOU SEE
BUT NO MATTER HOW UNIQUE
I AM NO MAN'S BLOOMIN' FREAK
SO NO ONE HAD BETTER LAUGH AT ME.
AHAB, AHAB, RISE AGAIN
TELL THEM PLEASE FOR ME
THREE TIMES YOU MET MY ANCESTOR
ON THE BLOODY SEA
AHAB, AHAB, FROM YOUR GRAVE
IN THE OCEAN DEEP
SOUND THE KNELL OF BUOY AND BELL
IN YOUR ETERNAL SLEEP.
MOBY lunges, as if to attack a member of the audience, but is physically restrained by the others.
(Shaking loose, but self-restrained)
NO ONE EVER LAUGHED AT MOBY DICK
HE WAS RULER OF THE DEEP AND MADE IT STICK
BY THE WHITENESS OF MY HIDE
I'M A WHALE, AND FULL OF PRIDE
AND I'LL EAT WHOEVER SMILES -- AND BLOODY QUICK!
(MOBY leans out threateningly)
YES, EVEN JUST ONE GRIN WILL DO YOU IN,
SO DO NOT LAUGH AT ME OR MOBY DICK, YOU PRICK!
They propel Moby to the Magistrate who fines him 50 pounds. Marlow discovers his wallet is missing but it’s late Friday, Saturday the banks are closed and Monday is a bank holiday. He’s afraid Moby will dry out in jail and die. The magistrate tells him the only thing he can do is petition the queen for the bail money. She holds a public audience every Saturday afternoon. But Marlow refuses to sink that low and they lock Moby up. Moby begs Marlow to not let false pride stand in his way of getting the bail money. But Marlow says he’ll never get on his knee before the queen.
MOBY
Please Marlow. Bail me out.
MARLOW
I will, Moby, I will. Let me think.
I'VE GOT TO BAIL THE WHALE OUT OF JAIL
HOW SORDID HAS BECOME THIS TALE
IN THE PARK THEY MADE A CLAMOR
WHEN THE WHALE BEGAN TO YAMMER
NOW I'VE GOT TO BAIL THAT BLOKE,
BAIL THAT JOKE, FROM THE SLAMMER
COMPANY
HE'S GOT TO BAIL THE BRUTE OUT OF STIR
OR TRAGEDY WILL SOON OCCUR
HE NEEDS FOOD AND LOTS OF SPONGIN'
OR A LAKE TO SWIM AND PLUNGE IN
MARLOW
OH, I'VE GOT TO GET HIS SPOUT
AND HIM OUT OF THIS DUNGEON.
I'VE BAILED OUT A SHIP, I'VE BAILED OUT A BOAT
BAILED OUT EVERY LAST BLOODY THING THAT CAN FLOAT
BUT SURE AS A FISH HAS A TALE
I'VE NEVER BAILED A WHALE
COMPANY
HE'S NEVER BAILED A WHALE
MARLOW
I'VE NEVER BAILED A WHALE OUT OF JAIL
COMPANY
HE'S GOT TO BAIL THE WHALE FROM THE CLINK
DECAYING HERE T'WOULD CAUSE A STINK
MARLOW
UP THROUGH ALL THE RANKS I'VE RISEN
EVERY SEA HAS SEEN MY MIZZEN
NOW I'VE ONLY GOT ONE WISH
TO GET THAT FISH OUT OF PRISON
TRANSVESTITE
THAT WHALE IS LIKE A MOTHERLESS CHILD
AS INNOCENT AS OSCAR WILDE
IT'S A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE
AND CAN'T HELP BUT JUST DISGUST US
WHEN FOR ANY LITTLE THING, JUST A FLING
THEY WILL BUST US!
COMPANY
HE'S BAILED OUT A SHIP, HE'S BAILED OUT A BOAT
BAILED OUT EVERY LAST SILLY THING THAT CAN FLOAT
BUT SURE AS A BARK HAS A SAIL
MARLOW
I'VE NEVER BAILED A WHALE
COMPANY
HE'S NEVER BAILED A WHALE
MARLOW
I'VE NEVER BAILED A WHALE OUT OF JAIL
MARLOW AND COMPANY
NEVER!
I'VE [HE'S] NEVER BAILED A WHALE
I'VE [HE'S] NEVER BAILED A WHALE
I'VE [HE'S] NEVER BAILED A WHALE OUT OF JAIL
NEVER!
A GUARD arrives with a fat PRISONER whom he thrusts into Moby’s cell. Moby eyes him, licking his lips and tells Marlow not to hurry to get him out.
MARLOW
I'm on my way. Tomorrow you'll be out of
here...unless
you do
something foolish.
MOBY
Thank you, Marlow. Good luck with the queen. And if you
don't have any luck, bring some catsup.
Marlow EXITS.
CURTAIN
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